This Vagabond ...

"The Lord is Good, His Steadfast Love Endures Forever." ~Psalm 100:5

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Thursday, May 28, 2009

Himbauan Lalu, Pintasan Masa (Part II)

Posted by Ruth72

Seperti yang dijanjikan agak lama dahulu (hahaha...janji siput, walaupun lambat tetap tertunai asalkan sabar), akhirnya inilah sequel untuk blog di atas yang akan membawa ku pulang ke alam remajaku. Best sangat ke zaman remaja? Mestilah best, sebab zaman kanak2 dan remaja lah alam di mana kita menjalani eksplorasi kehidupan; peringkat di mana kita belajar byk perkara baru. Kesilapan pasti terjadi, namun itulah yang bakal membentuk & mewarnai diri kita sebagai insan dewasa kini.


Zaman Persekolahan

Aku membesar di era 80an. Org kata, era Retro. Aku cakap, The Coolest Era. Semuanya amat indah bagiku namun tidak kurang mencabar juga kerana tatkala mengorak langkah menjadi gadis remaja, aku terpaksa berjauhan dgn keluarga & berpisah dengan adik bongsuku yg comel & amat kusayangi krn kami mmg sesungguhnya amat rapat. Ianya sukar kerana waktu itu dia baru berusia 3 tahun. Segalanya kulakukan demi melanjutkan pelajaran di sebuah sekolah bernama Kolej Datu Patinggi Abang Haji Abdillah. Utk kali pertama dlm hidupku, aku menjadi pelajar asrama & tinggal bersama ramai orang. Kolej ini letaknya di seberang Sg. Sarawak yakni Petra Jaya, jauh dari ketenangan kampungku di Siburan. Utk ke sana perlu menaiki bas selama lbh kurang setengah jam atau lebih, kemudian menaiki perahu tambang dari Pengkalan Sapi ke Pengkalan Batu or vice versa (aku kurang ingat mana satu aturannya). Dari pengkalan perahu tambang itu aku perlu menaiki bas ke sekolahku selama lbh kurang 10 atau 15minit. Semua ini sering kulakukan sendiri di usia belasan tahun. Bagiku tiada masalah kerana aku sememangnya remaja yg cergas walaupun pemalu huhuhu...

Maka, bermula dari tahun 1985 sehingga 1990, sahlah aku menjadi pelajar & penghuni asrama puteri K.D.P.A.H.A. Masih segar di ingatan hari pertama aku melapor diri ke sana, ayahku lah yg menghantarku dari kampung dgn menaiki bas sambil membawa satu beg besar berisi pakaian dan barang2 keperluanku. Selepas mendaftar diri aku dibawa ke asrama & kemudiannya melapor diri ke kelas. Ketika itu akulah antara pelajar Tingkatan 1 paling cinonet. Kelas, tingkatan 1B. Guruku cikgu Vivien Voon yg baik hati dan very soft spoken.

Kulihat perkarangan sekolahnya luas, pelajarnya ramai.
Sbg pelajar baru, aku tidak terlepas dari minggu orientasi. Namun orientasi ku tidaklah seteruk mana, hanya disuruh menyanyi dan berlakon babak filem Azura, filem yg sedang hit ketika itu. Kami juga diwajibkan bangun dan berjogging pada pukul 5 pagi selama seminggu dari sekolah ke bangunan Dewan Undangan Negeri.
Aktiviti Budak Sekolah

Secara ringkasnya, aku turut menyertai aktiviti2 sekolah seperti Persatuan Bulan Sabit Merah (salah seorang seniorku yang menganggotai persatuan ini kini telah menjadi seorang hakim kanan di Kuching), Koir sekolah (aku mmg gemar menyanyi dan pernah membuat persembahan nyanyian duet dgn kawanku Agnes menyanyikan lagu Falsafah Cinta /M.Nasir & Rahim Maarof), bermain ping-pong, menyertai rentas desa ketika di tingkatan 1 dan berjaya menduduki tempat ke-12 di antara ratusan pelajar dari semua peringkat umur (mana aku dapat tenaga masa tu akupun x tahu walhal aku x pernah menyertai lumba lari & x pernah mengulanginya selepas itu). Pernah jua aku memenangi pertandingan melukis poster sempena kempen Anti Dadah yg dianjurkan oleh Persatuan Bulan Sabit Merah.

Selain itu, aku jua aktif dalam persatuan keagamaan dan di sinilah bermulanya 'akar' religious backgroundku. ISCF - Interschool Christian Fellowship. Kami melakukan perjumpaan (gathering) setiap malam Sabtu / hari Jumaat) & ianya merupakan malam yg paling ku nantikan setiap minggu, memandangkan pada hari biasa kami wajib utk 'private study' yakni turun ke kelas dari jam 7pm-10pm kalau x silap...x pasti, maklumla memori dah karat. Ketika sesi pembelajaran kami akan diawasi pengawas dan warden yg akan meronda dari kelas ke kelas. Sehabis private study kami akan pulang ke asrama & dlm perjalanan ke bilik pasti ada anak2 tukang masak yg menanti di lobi asrama, menjual kuih-muih, nasi lemak & mee goreng untuk santapan malamku sebelum tidur. Dgn pengambilan kolestrol yg ada, aku ditransformasi dari saiz S ke L bilaku menginjak ke tingkatan 4. Not a pretty sight...hmmm.

Berbalik kepada ISCF, aku belajar tentang mendekati Tuhan & menyelami pengetahuan dlm agama. Dari situ jua kumiliki Bible ku yg pertama, bermain gitar dgn lagu-lagu rohani & menyertai Christian Retreat di Pantai Siar & Bako. ISCF membawaku kepada cinta pertamaku, dan ku bukan maksudkan manusia. Kini ku tertanya ke mana hala tujunya saudara2 ISCF setelah lebih 20 tahun berlalu. Adakah mereka masih menghubungi satu sama lain ataupun telah lost contact seperti diriku.

April Fool di asrama adalah hari yang boleh dikira menarik, kerana bermacam peristiwa lucu akan terjadi terutama di waktu malam. Masihku ingat ketika menghuni asrama baru, aku terlihat kelibat2 berpakaian serba putih berlegar di ruang ampaian yg merupakan tempat terbuka di tengah2 asrama. Ada di antara 'hantu' itu yg terkucil dlm seluar kerana ketakutan ketika memainkan watak hantu dan disakat yg lain.

Fran


Ketika remaja, semua ahli bilik dan rakan sekelasku tahu yang aku adalah peminat fanatik Francissca Peters. Boleh dikatakan, era itu mmg milik Fran kerana dialah penyanyi paling popular sekitar 1985-1988. Masihku ingat di tahun 1987, ketika aku memiliki cassette playerku yg pertama (ala2 walkman laa...cuma beza ianya adalah pemain KASET dan bukan cd...btw, bebudak sekarang tahu ker apa itu kaset?). Aku gemar mendengar lagu2 Fran dan pernah melalak2 di tengah malam kerana menyangkakan suaraku tidak kedengaran almaklum tak biasa pakai earphone, lagu lak kuat tahap studio sehingga rakan2 sebilikku yang lain tension hahaha... Sehingga kini (2009) aku masih lagi memiliki kaset2 original Francissca Peters (antara tajuk albumnya - Aku Hanya Pendatang (1985), Kau Bintangku(1987), Harapan (1988), Pasti Kembali (1989), Now's The Time (1990). Album paling hit Fran yg mengandungi lagu Sekadar Di Pinggiran (1986) tiada dlm senarai kerana telah dihilangkan oleh kakakku dan betapa terkilannya aku kerana itulah album yg paling aku sayang...(moral of the story, jgn pinjamkan barang kesayangan kita kepada org yg x tau menjaga harta org lain...kalau nak pinjamkan pun, dalam durasi yg terhad dan kalau boleh dgn interest sekali). Begitulah. Kaset2 yg kubeli itu masih bekeadaan baik sehingga kini wpun mutu audionya dah kurang kerana telah dirosakkan oleh kutu hama. Good influence yg kudapat dari Fran? Aku jadi berminat dgn bidang penciptaan lagu dan berjaya mempopularkan 2 buah lagu rohani ciptaanku berjudul 'Alone' & 'Kau Lebih Indah' (dari mawar merah) yg pernah ku dengar didendangkan di gathering2 sekolah. Penciptanya mungkin tak dikenali namun aku bersyukur itulah sumbangan kecilku demi manusia sejagat, mudah-mudahan.
Best Friendku

Aku takla nakal masa kat sekolah. Seingatku belum pernah sekalipun aku melanggar peraturan sekolah seperti ponteng, melawan guru dsbnya atau masalah2 disiplin yg lainnya. Secara luaran, aku seorang yg low profile, tak banyak bercakap tapi suka sangat menyanyi dan serius gak dlm pelajaran. Dalam ramai2 rakan, aku ada sorang best friend. Namanya Madeline (pun dah lost contact sekarang). Kalau org tengok mmg pelik krn kami berdua macam sama2 pendiam & pemalu namun bila lepak bersama kamilah geng yg paling gila2 & suka gelak. Antara kepakaran kami berdua adalah memberi gelaran kepada orang (not really a good thing though, tapi masa tu macam kelakar & kreatif sangat hahaha...). Dialah best friend ku yg sangat2 rapat. Berkongsi suka-duka dan pernah disindir dgn perkataan 'pendatang haram' oleh cikgu B.M gara-gara lambat masuk kelas (kerana aku sakit perut, tapi kawan sekelas tak tolong bagitau cikgu walaupun dah pesan). Meskipun dimarahi cikgu B.M yg skeptik terhadapku selepas itu, aku berjaya jua mendapat gred 1 dlm subjek B.M SPMku.

Madeline ni adalah pencinta kucing dan tak suka bunga walaupun perwatakannya feminin. Satu persamaan kami adalah meminati lagu2 dendangan Kumpulan Ekamatra waktu itu. Dia pernah membuat beberapa cross-stich yg tertulis namaku dan menghantarnya melalui pos selepas kami terpisah setelah masing2 meninggakan bangku sekolah. Peminat Paula Abdul yg popular ketika itu sebagai penyanyi dan penari, bukan juri American Idol spt sekarang. Madeline merupakan seorang rakan karib yang setia, yg sukar kulupakan hingga kini namun kerana ada sedikit salah-faham, kami membawa haluan masing2 ketika di tingkatan 6 Rendah. Namun persahabatan kami bertaut semula selepas itu. Dialah yg rajin menghantar surat kepadaku saban waktu. Walaupun aku pernah berusaha menjejakinya dan gagal, I wish her the best dan mendoakan kebahagiaannya.
Crush?

Hahaha...topik ini dimulakan dgn perasaan gelihati. Biasalah budak remaja, cinta monyet itu tetap menjelma di jiwa meskipun tak diminta. Yang lucunya, aku pernah benci sangat dekat sorang budak ni. Dia merupakan rakan sekelasku. Orgnya macam serius & sombong sampai aku meluat tak terkata bila tengok muka dia. Walaupun dia pendiam & macam sentimental, aku masih ingat lagi yg dia ni adalah peminat rock. Dia suka lagu2 Kump. Lefthanded. Masa tu di tingkatan 2 & 3. Tapi nak dijadikan blog lah kan, satu hari tu selepas cuti sekolah dia hadir ke kelas dgn bercermin mata (zaman tu fesyen cermin mata bingkai besar dan plastik yg menutupi separuh muka), tapi cermin mata dia nampak lawa. Aku rasa ada perubahan pada diri nya...ya, dia nampak kacak, hahaha...(ketawa lagi). Oleh kerana aku ni spesis pendiam & pemalu dan diapun spesis yg sama maka perkara ini tidak pernah diketahui oleh sesiapa. Tak tahulah kalau dia perasan, tapi rasa2nya hanya aku & Tuhan saja yang tahu kot. Perasaan tu hilang begitu sahaja bila dia masuk ke aliran sains di tingkatan 4, sementara aku sastera. Beberapa tahun yg lalu aku terjumpa nama dia dalam komuniti bidayuh di internet. Just another page of history :-)

Ekspo Bandaraya Kuching

Ogos 1988...Kuching telah diangkat menjadi sebuah Bandaraya. Waktu itu aku di tingkatan 4. Masihku ingat aku pergi ke tapak ekspo bersama kawan2 untuk melihat pameran yang diadakan. Betapa meriahnya suasana, ketika itu terdapat booth RTM & tidak putus-putus memainkan lagu2 terbaru...antaranya Kehebatan Cinta yg sedang hit (Fran/Jamal) & lagu2 dari Kumpulan Freedom, Search dsbnya. Tapak ekspo ni letaknya tidak berapa jauh (mungkin kurang dari 1km) dari sekolahku. Waktu itu tapak ekspo tersebut hanyalah tanah lapang, namun tersergam di atasnya lebih dari 10 tahun lalu sehingga kini adalah Kompleks Mahkamah Kuching. Sesuatu yang agak kebetulan jika difikir-fikirkan.


Aku mengucapkan selamat tinggal kepada sekolahku ini pada tahun 1990 di sekitar bulan Jun, atas pilihan sendiri. Banyak kenangan manis yang terpahat di ingatan sepanjang alam persekolahanku. Bagiku ianya tidak dapat di tukar-ganti dgn wang-ringgit dan apa jua. Terima kasih segalanya.



Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Eat More Fruits & Vege

Posted by Ruth72













I love vegetables & thankful for that because I was born like that. Some people don't like vegetables, for example my bro-in-law and his son to name a few, and don't eat 'em at all...but as for me I can't eat without at least a dish of vege. My favourite is miding (one type of wild fern that grows in bushes & orchards, spread by spore...quite expensive nowadays & made it to the exclusive restaurants' menu in Sarawak), other jungle produce coz I'm a village gal, sawi (mustard), ensabi (the veggie that resembles the taste of wasabi only less stings), kai lan, etc. I even consume young tapioca  leaves. I love the bitter taste of exotic vege. I don't like sweet cuisine...like old generation says, bitter is better. Medicine is bitter but it's good for you when you're sick. It's the sweetness that makes you all the more unhealthy. Likewise, love is sweet but it can drive you to bitterness if you're not careful to ballance the reality. Life is not easy. Accept both the good and bad. Don't be lulled by the sweetness of the moment until you forget about the harsh reality that life has to be lived, things to be bought, almost nothing is free. But some veggies are free for picking if you're hardworking enough to look between the bushes. Ready for your consumption, anytime :-).



Here's another one of my favourite, not a family of vege...Just mushroom. I love all sorts of mushroom as long as they are edible. One of the best food in the world. Yummy.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Hello again...dear lonely blog

Posted by Ruth72




Yeah...it's me again finally, after about 7 months of inactivity. Where have I been? Exactly here, only being idle. I remembered someone significant told me that since I have my own laptop now, I should have blogged more. Why was it that when I first opened this blog, my zeal to write was like an unqenchable flame when at that time I have to borrow my sister's desktop, or even quietly used my office desktop...with people walking past behind me and maybe took a sneak peek. And now, when I have this laptop...my very own laptop, I don't find it in my heart to blog?



Yes, maybe the heart is the answer.



I'm in love. My heart is preoccupied with the person that I love so much, and the need to blog has been overcome by love. It's been a roller-coaster ride, these past months have been. And I will not deny that the special person has made me happy & girlish & giggly again with love. Thank you for your love, and for teaching me a lot of things. 



And I thank God for His unfailing love for me.



As always, His sunsets and sunrise inspire me over and over again.



The sign that He's always there through the changing shadows, seasons & time.



Dear Father, let me not forget You lest I'm intoxicated by love, as You  have never forgotten  me ever since the time I was in my mother's womb.



Teach me to hear Your voice, Your precepts and most importantly,



to not forget to LOVE You back.



Thank you for Your faithfulness despite my lacking of the same.



Sincerely me.



The wretched vagabond.


Picture above ^^^is the Bintulu Waterfront seen from the main road on a beautiful evening on my way home from work, thanks to my Sony Ericksson G900 mobile phone. And thanks to the giver. xoxoxo

26th May 2009

Sunday, October 5, 2008

This I know

Posted by Ruth72
Friday, September 19, 2008

So Blessed

Posted by Ruth72

Today I feel very2 blessed, despite the fact that I had to take a half-day sick leave. (I wasn't feeling well in the morning. Nevertheless I continued to do my work in the office. Afternoon, I went to the clinic. Resting at home n feeling better after a little prayer, I finally find the opportunity to continue reading my book 'A Retreat With Therese of Lisieux'. No wonder it was soooo hard to finish this book. It 'speaks' directly to me.
Among others the book goes:

*Why were saints saints?
Because they were cheerful when it was difficult to be patient,
and because they pushed on when they wanted to stand still,
and kept silent when they wanted to talk,
and were agreeable when they wanted to be disagreeable.

*"This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you"
(John 15:12).
Meditating on these words of Jesus, I (Therese) began to see how imperfect my own love was; it was so obvious that I didn't love my sisters (in the Carmel) as God loves them. I realize now that perfect love means putting up with other people's shortcomings, feeling no surprise at their weaknesses, finding encouragement at even the slightes evidence of good qualities in them... Always, when I act as charity bids, I have this feeling that it is Jesus acting in me. The closer my union with Him, the greater my love...
As I've said, it's not a question of always succeeding in loving others and reaching out to them. What matters is continually trying and trusting in God's grace to help us get up when we fall.
*It's strange to think that since I was fifteen I've lived in this small patch of land. No more running in the meadows for me, no more picking wildflowers and seeing vistas reaching into the distance; no variety of towns and shops, no travel to foreign countries.
I can't go places, but I do have a heart that can love and allow itself to be given for others. I'm here in Carmel, so I have to rely on other people in many ways when it comes to doing good in the wider world.
I hear much suffering and need, but I can't always respond with my personal presence. Neither can you, when you hear of distant wars and natural disasters. But ultimately it doesn't matter (where you are), for each one of us has a specific task to carry out. Practically speaking, we can only cultivate the small area of responsibility that falls to our care here and now. If what we do is not done out of love, no matter how GRAND our actions, they are useless.
* A holy person is one whose love is enfleshed in a thousand acts of neighbourly kindness.
*St. Therese wrote: "Search eagerly for the perfect gifts, but I will show you a more excellent way! "says Paul & he explains how all the more perfect gifts are nothing without love. LOVE is the EXCELLENT WAY that leads to God.
I understand that the Church had a heart and that that heart was on fire with love. I understood that only love could make the Church's members act. If love were to grow cold, the apostles would no longer proclaim the Gospel, the martyrs would refuse to shed their blood. I understood that all vocations are contained in love_that love is everything-that it embraces all time and all space. In a word, love is eternal.
Then in an excess of delirious joy I cried out: "O Jesus, my Love, I have at last found my vocation. My vocation is love".
-----------------------
Yes...I feel blessed today because God answers many of my questions.
Something also happened, which at first seemed like a great disappointment and let-down for me 2 years ago, but turned out to be a blessing in disguise TODAY. It shows God's perfect & loving intervention in my life. I am thankful to Him, because He protects me & persistently brings me back to His path & waiting patiently   with love no matter how many times I fall.
I also hear again from an old friend whom I lost contact with for 18 years!
Thank you Lord for Your endless grace & mercy.
~Ruth

Sunday, September 7, 2008

Praise

Posted by Ruth72
Friday, September 5, 2008

The Little Flower

Posted by Ruth72

Currently I'm reading a book about this modern saint of the Catholic Church. She inspired me so much.

With my shallow knowledge in Saints, I first heard about her through Catholic Digest in the early 90's...and her name somehow stucked in my memories altho' I never get to know her until quite recently. I know it is the will of God for me to learn about this spiritual legend and to follow that path of love that she left behind. Born Marie Francois-Therese Martin, she is better known as Saint Therese of Lisieux.

The Little Flower of Jesus.